Blog

Browse All Blog Topics

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Aug 14, 2008

by Scholarships.com Staff

For everyone currently slogging their way through scholarship applications and college placement tests, as well as all of you gearing up for Composition, Creative Writing, or other English-related classes, here's a bit of fun.  Take a break from writing your own bids for essay scholarships and enjoy some really bad writing.  San Jose State University just announced the 2008 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual challenge to craft the worst opening line for a novel.  Named after the man who penned the famous opening line "It was a dark and stormy night," the competition seeks to give proper recognition to terrible prose.

This year's winner was penned by Garrison Spik of Washington, DC: 

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."
 Submissions are open year-round and people of any age or circumstance in life can enter, but be advised: most of the award in winning this contest is the joy of having your truly awful words in print. The contest is sponsored by an English department, so the official monetary prize is "a pittance" (for those not familiar with what a pittance is, just ask your composition instructor--they can most likely produce a pay stub).  As fun as this contest would be to enter, it's not going to take you very far towards funding your education.

Even if you decide not to try your hand at fiction, perusing the Bulwer-Lytton contest winners could enrich your life in other ways beyond simple entertainment.  See all of those flowery, adjective-rich lines that seem to go on forever with their archaic and polysyllabic prose that looks like what would happen if someone cut the thesaurus apart and taped it back together to form a sentence?  That would be writing to avoid submitting to scholarship essay contests ( poetry contests, too).  While flexing your writing to its full extent is always tempting, there are limits.  When a sentence becomes difficult to read and a metaphor, image, anecdote, or quote is stretched further than it can reasonably go, or plopped down with no clear context provided, an otherwise brilliant attempt at winning scholarships can fall flat.  Even though School House Rock tells you to unpack your adjectives, the Bulwer-Lytton contest reminds us that in some instances it may be wise to leave a few of them put away.

And don't forget, you should pay for your college education with as much free money as possible! Find as many scholarships and grants as you can before turning to student loans. Visit the Scholarships.com free college scholarship search today where you'll get matched with countless scholarships and grants for which you qualify, then apply and win! It’s that easy!

Discuss

Share your thoughts and perhaps thousands of students will benefit from your unique insight on the subject!



If you can read this, don't touch the following fields


 

Most Shared Articles

Fighting crime is no easy task and is not meant for everyone. Careers in criminal justice aren't limited to police officers. You can study to be a criminal law paralegal, a crime lab analyst or even work for homeland security. If you plan to take this route, don't forget to apply for these solid scholarships to reduce debt while also doing your part to reduce crime: [...]

0 months ago 0 comments Read More

Due to Oregon's $1.8 billion budget crisis, public university leaders want funding reallocated from the Promise program to the state's need-based grant, which is awarded to low-income students who attend Oregon's public universities. [...]

0 months ago 0 comments Read More

The traditional college route isn't the best choice for everyone. There are ample scholarship opportunities for students who opt for a vocational career, whether it be in the plumbing, carpentry, electrical, firefighting or many others. If you want to learn or hone a specific skill as an alternative to attending a more traditional four-year college, take some time to consider these vocational scholarship opportunities: [...]

0 months ago 0 comments Read More

Wheaton College, a liberal arts college in Massachusetts, has created a refugee scholarship following the POTUS' immigration order in an effort to preserve their "foreign-born community." Another scholarship called The Privilege Grant, was recently created and is exclusively for white men "pursuing college on equal footing with their female, queer and ethnic minority classmates." [...]

0 months ago 14 comments Read More

February is Black History Month, or National African-American History Month, and is annually spent celebrating the achievements and contributions of black Americans in U.S. history. MLK had a dream - what is yours? Ours is helping you go to college with as little debt as possible. If that's your dream, check out these Black History Month-inspired scholarships: [...]

0 months ago 1 comments Read More

Living the college life has gotten way more expensive since 1980, and not including just tuition and fees. While many types tuition freezes, government tuition-free programs, scholarships, and grants help foot the tuition bill, housing and food remain uncovered, according to MarketWatch. [...]

1 months ago 2 comments Read More

The NFL Super Bowl is right around the corner, and while you may be enjoying the highly entertaining commercials or half-time show, we’ve compiled a list of football scholarships for those of you who one day aspire to play in the Super Bowl. If you have a passion for the game and wish to play at the collegiate level and beyond, check out these award opportunities and get paid to play: [...]

1 months ago 0 comments Read More

At elite colleges, more students come from the top 1 percent than the entire bottom 60 percent, according to a new study. While roughly one in four of the wealthiest students attend elite schools, including five Ivy League schools, graduating college helps "level the playing field for students of all socioeconomic backgrounds," according to Inside Higher Ed. [...]

1 months ago 0 comments Read More

Not all scholarships are awarded to the best writers with the strongest essays. So whether you're too busy writing other essays for school or simply not the best at literary composition, there are scholarship providers that dole out funds for unique hobbies or skill sets; or even for simply entering a contest. Check out these no-essay (or essay-alternative) awards for a chance to fund your college education:: [...]

1 months ago 3 comments Read More