After the hassles of finals, packing up and scrubbing down my apartment, one short stretch of my five and a half hour drive from the east side of Washington to the west makes it all worthwhile. I love pulling off the freeway onto the familiar roads of my hometown and examining which buildings have morphed from restaurants into hair salons and wine bars or back again to restaurants since my last visit. It can be difficult to accept that life back home always goes on without me, but I know one group of people that will always be excited to see me: my family.
Regardless of your family’s dynamic, after several months with limited contact, they will undeniably be glad to see your face. As you notice new wallpaper in the hallway or your increasingly hefty family pooch, your parents may also begin to identify the ways you’ve changed since your last visit home. As I adjust from the independence of college to the restrictions of life under my parents’ roof, however, I often find myself falling back into high school patterns – taking them for granted and setting my expectations of them too high. The best way to manage parental relations is to treat them less like public services or obstacles to your fun and more like a pair of real, adult human beings.
Avoid creating a routine of asking your parents for things. If you need money, food or your oil changed, try to establish those needs early so it does not become a recurring conflict. Be clear in what you are willing to exchange for your parents’ support, whether it’s household chores or just spending more time with them. Also, be sure to set aside time for hanging out with Mom and Dad away from the house. Suggest going to dinner or a movie...and maybe even pay sometimes. Trust them enough to disclose a few imperfect details of your college life. Show them that the new you is even better than the old you, and that you’re still interested in being part of their family.
Allison Rowe is a senior at Washington State University majoring in English and psychology. For the last two years, she has worked for her student newspaper, achieved the status of President’s honor roll every semester and academically excelled to acquire a handful of scholarships and writing awards. She dreams of moving to New York after her May 2012 graduation to dive head first into the publishing industry. In her free time, Allison enjoys cooking, game nights and psychologically thrilling movies. As a Scholarship.com virtual intern, Allison hopes to assist students in maximizing the gains of the college experience.
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