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Maintaining Healthy Relationships in College

by Chelsea Slaughter

Balancing relationships on campus can be a task. For new college students, the freedom can be quite overwhelming: Students are no longer under the microscope of their parents and can come and go and do as they please. As amazing as it sounds, however, it is key to remember the pros and cons of this autonomy.

Without an outside viewpoint, it is much easier to get caught up in detrimental relationships, both romantic and platonic. When you have so much access to another person, it becomes quite easy to take them for granted or vice versa. Sometimes you need a break from friends and groups to regain your own identity. This is ok. Always remember to make choices that are best for YOU. Are you in a parasitic friendship? Are they draining you and giving nothing in return? If the answer is yes, then you need to reevaluate the path of your friendship.

While friendships are important to keep healthy, the most dangerous relationships can be ones of the dating variety, as college-age students are the most at risk for domestic abuse relationships. Consider these statistics:

  • 53% of victims of domestic violence were abused by a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • 21% of college students report having experienced dating violence by a current partner and 32% experienced dating violence by a previous partner.
  • 60% of acquaintance rapes on college campuses occur in casual or steady dating relationships.
  • Nearly one third of college students report having physically assaulted a dating partner in the previous 12 months.
  • Approximately 90% of victims of sexual assault on college campuses know their attacker.

Open your eyes and see the signs of unhealthy relationships. Whether it’s a friend or significant other, know when to separate yourself from situations that are not conducive to your educational experience and your health.

Chelsea Slaughter is currently a junior at Jacksonville State University majoring in communications (public relations concentration) and minoring in art. She serves as a resident assistant on campus, is the treasurer in the Public Relations Organization and is an active member in W.I.S.E., NAACP and Omicron Delta Kappa Honors Leadership Society. She aims to work in the entertainment industry post-graduation and is well on her way thanks to an internship with a digital marketer to several music artists. Chelsea strives to achieve all of her goals and motivate others along the way.


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How to Become a Student Leader

September 6, 2013

How to Become a Student Leader

by Chelsea Slaughter

Are you already involved on your campus? Take it a step further by becoming a respected individual in your organization(s) – there are so many opportunities for you to show people you are just another face walking the campus! Here are some tips on how to be seen as a student leader:

  • Run for Office in an Organization. Choose that one organization that you absolutely adore and run for a position. Don’t be scared about the extra responsibilities: The more in tuned you are with the mission and goals of the organization, the less it will feel like work. As an officer, people will see YOU when they think about the organization...let your love and pride be shown!
  • Join Your School’s SGA. The Student Government Association is a great way to get your feet wet in student leadership. Through the SGA, students can let their voices be heard about campus events, extracurricular activities and policies so if you feel like you have ideas that need some shine, this is the perfect place to bring them. You could even run for a SGA office. (Bonus: Most schools have scholarships for their SGA officers.)
  • Become a Peer Educator, Campus Ambassador or Student Life Worker. I am sure you have seen such people working around your campus, especially during freshman year. Here at JSU, we have peer educators and campus ambassadors that conduct activities like giving campus tours, speaking in freshman orientation class and promoting campus safety. If your campus has something similar, this is an amazing way to get your face seen and gain respect from your peers. There are also student life workers that help in the office and orientation leaders that run freshman orientation during the summer. Many of these are paid positions as well so you can earn money as you give back to your campus.

Chelsea Slaughter is a senior at Jacksonville State University majoring in communications major (public relations concentration) and minoring in art. She serves as a resident assistant on campus, serves as treasurer in the Public Relations Organization and is an active member in W.I.S.E., NAACP and Omicron Delta Kappa Honors Leadership Society. She aims to work in the entertainment industry post-graduation and is well on her way thanks to an internship with a digital marketer to several music artists. Chelsea strives to achieve all of her goals and motivate others along the way.


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How Housing Placement Can Affect Study Habits

by Chelsea Slaughter

Choosing where you want to live for a full year can be a big decision! Whether you realize it or not, where you live can really impact you and how you study – so much so that it can make or break your academic success. Here are ways to amplify your opportunity with the best housing options during your first year at school:

  • Know the Purpose of the Building You Choose: Many dorm buildings have different purposes or themes. On my campus, there are dorms where the majority of sorority girls live, dorms where most of the band lives and dorms where most athletes live. As I freshman, I chose a “Cocky Experience” dorm, which was just a dorm aimed at introducing freshmen into the college experience. We had study sessions and group meetings every month and my dorm upheld “quiet hours” more than the sorority dorm that my friend resided in. It was also within walking distance of the library so as you can imagine, it was way easier for me to get my studying done than it was for my friend to do the same.
  • Stray Away from Off-Campus Options: Your first year of college is all about learning the ways of your new school and yourself. When living off campus, you are pretty much disconnected from the school both academically and socially. When my sister stayed at an off-campus apartment, she was always disturbed by the amount of noise from outside forces. Off-campus options have less rules and more tolerance for disturbance; you are also no longer close to a peaceful area like the library or academic center.

You want everything in your favor during your first year so make sure to choose the best option for YOU. Your housing choice will have an impact and it’s up to you whether it will be for better or worse.

Chelsea Slaughter is currently a junior at Jacksonville State University majoring in communications (public relations concentration) and minoring in art. She serves as a resident assistant on campus, is the treasurer in the Public Relations Organization and is an active member in W.I.S.E., NAACP and Omicron Delta Kappa Honors Leadership Society. She aims to work in the entertainment industry post-graduation and is well on her way thanks to an internship with a digital marketer to several music artists. Chelsea strives to achieve all of her goals and motivate others along the way.


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Who Am I Really?

Creating Your Own Identity on Campus

August 29, 2013

Who Am I Really?

by Chelsea Slaughter

Starting off in a new place with new people can be scary. As young people, we tend to flock together in “cliques” or groups we feel most comfortable with and the majority of the time, the members of our groups share many of the same qualities. It's perfectly fine to have friends but it’s important not to lose your own identity.

When I was a freshman, I had a circle of friends that were “one for all and all for one.” When schedules got hectic later in the year, we had less and less time to do things together but it seemed like every time I went somewhere alone, someone asked “Where are the others?” At the moment, it did not occur to me that I was not known as my own person but instead as a member of “that group.”

As an RA in a freshman residence hall, I was able to witness the same cycle constantly repeating. I am not saying to not have friends or a circle to can call upon but I AM saying that you must remember who you are and what’s important to you. If you want to join a club and your friends are uninterested, you should still go for it! This gives you a chance to meet others who share interests the friends you already have may not.

As the years progress, you will see the importance of having a personal identity on your campus. You will see the difference between “Oh look, it’s that group” and “Oh look, it’s Chelsea and her friends.” This is your chance to transition from fitting in to standing out – it's time to find who you are, not lose who you are!

Chelsea Slaughter is currently a junior at Jacksonville State University majoring in communications major (public relations concentration) and minoring in art. She serves as a resident assistant on campus, serves as treasurer in the Public Relations Organization and is an active member in W.I.S.E., NAACP and Omicron Delta Kappa Honors Leadership Society. She aims to work in the entertainment industry post-graduation and is well on her way thanks to an internship with a digital marketer to several music artists. Chelsea strives to achieve all of her goals and motivate others along the way.


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How to Not Kill Your Roommate

by Darci Miller

Before college, the only time I’d ever shared a room with someone was at sleep-away camp. Living in a bunk with a dozen other girls was certainly an experience but I was still nervous about moving in with my freshman roommate. We’d talked on Facebook but never met in person and all of a sudden we were supposed to live together harmoniously.

Not only did we survive that first year without killing each other but we successfully lived together sophomore year and will be moving back in together in August for year number three. Pretty good for a first roommate experience! While I lucked out in finding someone I’m totally compatible with, I think our trick was abiding by several unwritten rules.

First and foremost is respect. We never touch each other’s things (including food) unless we get permission to. At the same time, there are certain things we share: Her printer is mine to use as I need it (as long as I help pay for ink), she has full privileges with my television and then there was the time we bought a jar of Nutella together. Respect also involves being quiet when you come in at 3 a.m. and keeping sexiling to a bare minimum (no pun intended).

Compromising is important as well. You’ll have to learn to go to sleep with the lights on now and then (I did) or plug in your headphones if your roommate wants to turn in early. If you both go in knowing that you’ll have to give a little, you’ll make each other’s transition much easier.

In my opinion, the most important aspect of living together is liking each other! You don’t have to be BFFs but spend some time together and find something to bond over. Do you both hate the Yankees? Are you both huge OneRepublic fans? Heck, do you both like Nutella? It can be the littlest things that form a great relationship and make living together a pleasure.

Darci Miller is a New Yorker studying journalism and sport administration at the University of Miami. When she’s not writing for the school newspaper, you can find her at the gym, either working or working out. She loves all ‘80s pop culture (the cheesier the better!), and glues herself to her TV when the Olympics are on. She dreams big, and believes the sky’s the limit!


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Attending College Away vs. In-State

by Darci Miller

When I first began looking at colleges, I knew right away that I didn’t want to attend school locally. I wanted to forge my own way away from home and none of New York’s state schools really interested me. I did apply to one in-state school (Syracuse) that’s a multiple hour drive away from home but ended up not going there.

Starting at Miami was a bit of a culture shock. I went from seeing familiar faces everywhere in high school to being the one solitary Baldwinite at college. There are several others from my high school at Miami but they’re older than me and we’ve never interacted before. I was entirely on my own. My friends, on the other hand, moved on from high school in a very different way: Almost everybody I know attends college with at least one other person from high school and SUNY Binghamton is now the home of more than 20 members of my graduating class, many of whom now live together.

Sometimes, I’m a little bit jealous. If vacation days don’t line up, I’ll be sitting in my dorm room reading Facebook updates about how everyone’s getting together back at home – people can’t afford to fly down to Miami to visit one friend but they can afford to drive to Binghamton to visit dozens of them – but embarking on a college journey miles away from home does have its positives.

By going to school away, you’ll get to miss out on all the stupid high school drama inherent in high school friendships. You’ll be able to make an entirely new group of friends without worrying about what your old friends think of you or of them. You can reinvent yourself entirely if you want to, become your own person and return home new, improved and blissfully unaware of who kissed who and who now hates who. Trust me, you won’t miss it!

Darci Miller is a New Yorker studying journalism and sport administration at the University of Miami. When she’s not writing for the school newspaper, you can find her at the gym, either working or working out. She loves all ‘80s pop culture (the cheesier the better!), and glues herself to her TV when the Olympics are on. She dreams big, and believes the sky’s the limit!


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Finding College Employment ASAP

by Darci Miller

In college, money becomes a legitimate concern. For the most part, parents have taken care of finances until now and unless you’re lucky enough to come from a wealthy family, college is the first time you’re largely on your own financially.

In the weeks leading up to my first semester as a college student, my dad was adamant that I get myself a job. I’d failed in my attempts to get one that summer and was beyond broke. After many a stern talking to, it was decided for me that I’d apply for jobs at my campus’s wellness center because not only was it right next door to the freshman dorms, but it was related to my sports administration major. At least two weeks before even leaving for Miami, my dad told me to get my application in. Right then. At that moment.

I thought that applying for an on-campus job weeks before I even set foot on campus as a student was a bit of overkill, but I listened to him and shot off an application. I got a phone call from them the next day, had an interview set up for a day or two after I arrived and had a job before classes even started.

Getting this job was one of the smartest decisions I (or my dad) made that first year in college and I encourage all of you to follow the same advice. On-campus jobs understand that you’re a student before you’re an employee, so they let you do homework during down time and have very flexible scheduling. Being on campus, they’re conveniently located and often offer the potential for promotions and pay raises. They’re a great way to meet new people and, well, hello spending money!

However, on campus jobs aren’t always easy to get because they’re so in demand. If you’re heading to school for the first time or returning for a new year, start scouting the field and getting applications out within the next few weeks. Employers are always looking for people before the semesters start or during summer/winter breaks, when most students are away. Good luck and happy job hunting!

Darci Miller is a New Yorker studying journalism and sport administration at the University of Miami. When she’s not writing for the school newspaper, you can find her at the gym, either working or working out. She loves all ‘80s pop culture (the cheesier the better!), and glues herself to her TV when the Olympics are on. She dreams big, and believes the sky’s the limit!


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Dorm Etiquette

September 6, 2011

Dorm Etiquette

by Darci Miller

A big deal is always made about being a good roommate in college. I’ve seen many a list on how not to drive the person you’re forced to live with up a wall but what about proper etiquette for living in a dorm? Being a good neighbor involves an entirely different set of rules than being a good roommate.

For example, try to keep your music down in a dorm room. It’s all well and good if both you and your roommate love heavy bass but unless you’ve cleared it with your entire floor – and sometimes your upstairs and downstairs neighbors as well – it’s good to be courteous and NOT turn it up to 11. I’ve been known to glare mutinously at the wall between my room and my neighbor's as their music is thumping away at 2 a.m.

You’ll also want to respect personal boundaries. Really, don’t use the toilet when your suitemate is using the sink, unless it’s previously agreed upon. It happens. I have personal experience on my side.

Don’t rip down decorations in the halls; someone (like your RA) worked really hard to put them up. Along the same lines, garbage belongs in a garbage can. As much as I love seeing a rotten apple smushed on the floor outside my room (sarcasm, of course), it shouldn’t be there. The same goes for hairballs: Throw yours in your trashcan instead of kicking them into the hall.

Don’t touch other people’s underwear – aka be courteous in the laundry room. It’s inevitable that at some point, you’ll have to move someone’s laundry so you can use their machine but only do so in desperate times. I hate knowing that a stranger was rooting around in my clothes.

It all comes down to being respectful. You don’t have to be Dorm Resident Extraordinaire but thinking about the people living around you is much appreciated by your neighbors and floormates. Unless, of course, you want the girl living next door to you groaning about how obnoxious your music is.

Darci Miller is a New Yorker studying journalism and sport administration at the University of Miami. When she’s not writing for the school newspaper, you can find her at the gym, either working or working out. She loves all ‘80s pop culture (the cheesier the better!), and glues herself to her TV when the Olympics are on. She dreams big, and believes the sky’s the limit!


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A Single Student’s Take on College Relationships

by Darci Miller

It may seem odd to some that a girl who’s been single for her entire 20 years of existence would be writing a blog post about relationships in college. My perpetual singledom, however, gives me a pretty unique perspective on relationships, so hear me out.

Two of my friends are in a relationship. They got together about five seconds after they met freshman year and now, as juniors, they have no lives apart from each other. He has a dorm room but he basically lives at her apartment and they spend every day and night together. I’m fairly certain he’d rather be single – she sort of strong-armed him into the relationship in the first place and somehow got him to change his mind after he broke up with her last year – and while he does care about her, he’s pretty much only still with her for sex. She isn’t any better, as she is completely dependent on him for EVERYTHING. Can you tell that they have the unhealthiest relationship ever?

The misconception seems to be that when we begin attending college, we’re all magically more mature and will all find healthy, successful relationships. Clearly, this is not the case. I’d love to find a boyfriend but seeing what my friends’ horrible relationship looks like, my attitude is that it’ll happen when it happens. And when it does, I have a really good model of what not to do - ever.

Just because we’re young and make mistakes shouldn’t give us a free pass to use other people the way my friend is using his girlfriend and vice versa, but I digress. If you’re interested in sex, just go to eduhookups.com – one night stands may turn my stomach but users of this website are at least upfront about their intentions. In the meantime, if there are any guys looking for a healthy relationship based on more than just the physical stuff, call me.

Darci Miller is a New Yorker studying journalism and sport administration at the University of Miami. When she’s not writing for the school newspaper, you can find her at the gym, either working or working out. She loves all ‘80s pop culture (the cheesier the better!), and glues herself to her TV when the Olympics are on. She dreams big, and believes the sky’s the limit!


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What I Wish I Knew When I Was a College Freshman

by Darci Miller

When I was preparing for my freshman year, I talked to people, read books and generally tried to learn everything I could about what awaited me in this next phase of my life. That being said, there are some things that no book, blog or person mentioned to me, leaving me blistered, hungry and short on tissues. Here's what I discovered through much trial and error:

  • Comfy shoes are a godsend. You don’t realize how much more walking college involves until you’re hobbling back to your dorm, desperate to take off the shoes currently eating your feet. Make sure to invest in a pair of comfortable sneakers for when your cute sandals aren't feeling so cute.
  • Being sick is even worse at school than at home. Mom won’t be there to bring you juice, make you soup or buy you tissues when you're sick at school – you have to do it on your own. And then there’s stress from work and class and the nagging guilt about potentially infecting your roommate. My advice? Vitamin C.
  • You may or may not have an eating schedule. In my first semester, I couldn’t figure out Tuesdays and Thursdays. Breakfast before or after my 9:30 class? Lunch before or after my 12:15 class? I never knew and I was always a little hungry. It’s good to carry a healthy snack with you, just in case.
  • You might not be the only freshman in your classes. It was quite a shock to me to walk into my first-ever college class and find myself sitting next to a man. Not a college-aged boy, a full-grown man who had a wife and kids at home. You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy: Classes put you together with people of similar expertise, not age. Keep this in mind especially if AP credits exempt you from intro classes.

You can now go into your freshman year much wiser than I was when I began mine!

Darci Miller is a New Yorker studying journalism and sport administration at the University of Miami. When she’s not writing for the school newspaper, you can find her at the gym, either working or working out. She loves all ‘80s pop culture (the cheesier the better!), and glues herself to her TV when the Olympics are on. She dreams big, and believes the sky’s the limit!


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