"Can I Get Your Advice on Something?"

The reality is, children often go to their parents for advice already knowing the decision they would make even if their parents’ decision doesn’t agree with theirs- so watch out. If your child comes to you asking if they should join a fraternity or sorority, they are interested in pledging or have already received a bid from at least one house. If you let your child know the typical expectations in Greek fraternity and sorority life, which revolve around heavy drinking and excessive partying, it may not sit well with them. They may even join to spite you. Responding with “I never pledged so I’m not entirely sure. Tell me why you’re interested” is optimal because you’re not passing judgment and are gauging their curiosity at the same time. This won’t work if your child knows you were a Kappa Sigma, of course, so tell them what your experience was like – positive or negative – and let them choose their path from there. If you loved going Greek, maybe they will too- but if your time was less than perfect, being honesty without malice or critical judgement could be a key factor in your child’s final choice.

For some unsolicited advice: You are responsible for your child’s existence on this planet but if they don’t directly ask you what your opinion is, don’t offer it. Doing so will make you seem meddlesome or wary of your child’s decision-making skills and it’s likely that it will prevent your child from coming to you for advice at all. When in doubt, trying listening without response unless you truly feel your child’s decision could threaten their safety or jeopardize their future.

Last Edited: July 2015

Latest College & Financial Aid News

Sexual Assault on Campus

July 27, 2015

by Emily Rabinowitz

Every week we hear a new story about sexual assault on the college campus. By now the fact that 20% of females and 5% of men “reported being sexually assaulted either by physical force or while incapacitated” is no longer surprising. What most people are surprised about is the fact that 82% of the time, the perpetrator is known to the victim. We all know that college is the time to explore [...]

Insight on Dorm Life

July 24, 2015

by Erica Lewis

It’s that time of year when housing assignments start coming out for the upcoming school year. Some students will know their roommates, but many won’t. Moving onto campus is a very exciting moment for students. It certainly was for me. It means getting away from home and getting to have your own space. For many of us, it also means learning to share space with another person. It’s a challenging, [...]

Murder-Suicide Claims Lives of Two College Students

July 23, 2015

by Chris Bernardi

Tragedy has taken the lives of two college students shot to death at a Walnut Creek home in an apparent murder-suicide. Walnut Creek police are investigating the North Homestead neighborhood after receiving calls of what neighbors claimed were gunshots around 6:50 a.m. Tuesday morning. The victims have been identified as 19-year-old college student Clare Orton; of Walnut [...]

Follow Us:

facebook twitter rss feed