"Can I Get Your Advice on Something?"

The reality is, children often go to their parents for advice already knowing the decision they would make even if their parents’ decision doesn’t agree with theirs- so watch out. If your child comes to you asking if they should join a fraternity or sorority, they are interested in pledging or have already received a bid from at least one house. If you let your child know the typical expectations in Greek fraternity and sorority life, which revolve around heavy drinking and excessive partying, it may not sit well with them. They may even join to spite you. Responding with “I never pledged so I’m not entirely sure. Tell me why you’re interested” is optimal because you’re not passing judgment and are gauging their curiosity at the same time. This won’t work if your child knows you were a Kappa Sigma, of course, so tell them what your experience was like – positive or negative – and let them choose their path from there. If you loved going Greek, maybe they will too- but if your time was less than perfect, being honesty without malice or critical judgement could be a key factor in your child’s final choice.

ADVERTISEMENT

For some unsolicited advice: You are responsible for your child’s existence on this planet but if they don’t directly ask you what your opinion is, don’t offer it. Doing so will make you seem meddlesome or wary of your child’s decision-making skills and it’s likely that it will prevent your child from coming to you for advice at all. When in doubt, trying listening without response unless you truly feel your child’s decision could threaten their safety or jeopardize their future.

ADVERTISEMENT

Latest College & Financial Aid News

Book Shines Light on Navigating College Costs

March 4, 2021

by Izzy Hall

March is the first month students may hear back from colleges they applied to during regular admission. Whether an acceptance letter comes in the mail or through an online portal, the excitement of being accepted into college is tangible. What may be less tangible is understanding how you and your family will pay for college. A new best-selling book aims to help untangle the process. [...]

More Schools Adopting Test-Optional Merit Aid

March 2, 2021

by Izzy Hall

Back in September, a few colleges who had already adopted a test-optional policy for the current admissions cycle announced that they would be awarding merit scholarships without the need for applicants to submit test scores. Since then, more and more colleges and universities have quietly adopted test-optional merit aid policies to complement their currently test-optional admissions. [...]

Avoid Student Debt at Colleges with No Student Loans

February 25, 2021

by Izzy Hall

Here at Scholarships.com, we connect students with scholarships that can help alleviate the amount of student loans they need to take out to pay for college. But there are colleges out there that offer students such generous financial aid packages that they need to take out very little in loans if at all. These “no student loans” colleges replace student loans in financial aid packages with additional scholarships and grants to help fund a student’s tuition. Students accepted into these schools will pay much less than the cost of tuition and thus will not be as burdened with student debt. [...]

Last Reviewed: March 2021