"Can I Get Your Advice on Something?"

The reality is, children often go to their parents for advice already knowing the decision they would make even if their parents’ decision doesn’t agree with theirs- so watch out. If your child comes to you asking if they should join a fraternity or sorority, they are interested in pledging or have already received a bid from at least one house. If you let your child know the typical expectations in Greek fraternity and sorority life, which revolve around heavy drinking and excessive partying, it may not sit well with them. They may even join to spite you. Responding with “I never pledged so I’m not entirely sure. Tell me why you’re interested” is optimal because you’re not passing judgment and are gauging their curiosity at the same time. This won’t work if your child knows you were a Kappa Sigma, of course, so tell them what your experience was like – positive or negative – and let them choose their path from there. If you loved going Greek, maybe they will too- but if your time was less than perfect, being honesty without malice or critical judgement could be a key factor in your child’s final choice.

ADVERTISEMENT

For some unsolicited advice: You are responsible for your child’s existence on this planet but if they don’t directly ask you what your opinion is, don’t offer it. Doing so will make you seem meddlesome or wary of your child’s decision-making skills and it’s likely that it will prevent your child from coming to you for advice at all. When in doubt, trying listening without response unless you truly feel your child’s decision could threaten their safety or jeopardize their future.

ADVERTISEMENT

Latest College & Financial Aid News

This Week is American Education Week 2021

November 18, 2021

by Liz Montenegro

When asked the question, “Who was your favorite teacher or coach growing up?” For most anyone, an image of that educator’s face immediately pops up in their mind. What was it about that person that made them stand out? Maybe it was the way they encouraged or inspired you as no others had previously done. Perhaps they saw something in you that helped you to gain the confidence to achieve a goal that had once seemed unattainable. The truth is, there are as many answers to this question as there are people in this world. One common denominator unites them: it all started with the foundation of mutual respect and trust this individual established with you. [...]

In November, We Celebrate Native American Heritage Month

November 12, 2021

by Liz Montenegro

Since the beginning of our nation, Native Americans and Indigenous communities have been a powerful influence on modern U.S. society. Although art, beadwork, music and dancing may first come to mind when you think of Native American contributions to today’s culture, did you know that many of the foods we consider to be staples, such as potatoes, wild rice, beans, corn, and peanuts were first grown and harvested by Native Americans? Not only that, but Native American groups also taught European settlers some of their farming techniques to help them survive and live off of the land, many of those practices are still used today. American Indians were also the inventors of goods we rely on every day, like topical pain relievers, baby bottles, and even rubber products. [...]

Community Service Benefits Everyone

November 8, 2021

by Liz Montenegro

Are you a high school student looking for opportunities to help others around you and set yourself apart on college applications? With the holiday season in full swing, this is the perfect time to start your search for volunteering opportunities in your area. Along with strengthening ties to your community, serving as a volunteer demonstrates to colleges that you have given your time and energy to help those in need, and that you have applied the knowledge you’ve gained in your studies to real-world settings. Many college applications and scholarships have a minimum number of community service hours that their applicants must complete in order to be eligible. But just because it is a requirement, doesn’t mean it cannot also be a meaningful experience. [...]

Last Reviewed: November 2021